Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Grandpa

Wayne Benfell Gold
March 13, 1924 - May 25, 2010

I didn't know much about my Grandfather. To me he was a man amongst men. A manly man who loved hunting, fishing, hiking, camping... anything to do with the outdoors, really. I can't recall any time that he spoke ill about anyone. He always had some constructive criticism or advice, not unwanted, to give. One of the last things I remember him saying to me was advice on how to get a girl. He didn't tell me to play games, or show off to attract their attention. He told me to make sure they know that you care about them and that they can feel safe having you around. Easy for him to say. That's another blog post for another time, though. My grandpa must have known something about the subject because he was married to my Grandmother for 53 years. If my he was wonderful she was absolutely amazing.

The reason I'm writing this is because a friend of mine lost her "Papa" this week. I didn't know what to say to her when she told me he might not make it through the weekend. Today a facebook post told me that he had passed. I hadn't attempted to say anything to her about it between the awkward "I'm sorry" response and just about an hour ago when I saw her post. I wish I had the words. Religious people always have the seemingly packaged responses such as: "He/she's in a better place now", "You'll see them again" or something like "He and so-and-so are probably looking down on us now". Nothing like that is fitting for the non-religious types. In person I'd just offer a hug, that usually takes the place of possibly empty words most of the time.

I don't deal well with death. When I was a kid, around 4 or 5 I remember waking up from a sound sleep terrified at the thought of one day dying. In tears I ran to find my mom, bawling my eyes out yelling "I don't want to die!". I can imagine my mom thinking something terrible had happened, "what's wrong with this kid!". I've come to terms with it but I still get uneasy at the thought of ceasing to exist.

More later...

16 comments:

Alexander said...

Neither do I, I find myself wondering what will happen after death. I don't want to live or have eternal conciousness. Sigh, it's depressing

sanne said...

Alexander i was thinking about the same!

Leanora's Blog said...

I myself never know what to say to someone who has lost a person dear to them. I don't really think about death a lot, if it one day happens its just one of those things.

Azurikai said...

yeah thats a really sad thought, i mean who will ever know what happens to us until it actually comes to that.

Come At Me Bro said...

Happy St. Patrick's day!

Au said...

Thanks everybody, I kind of left my thought unfinished, but I don't know what else to say...

Lemmiwinks said...

Great background on this, bro!

afrodude50 said...

always sad when a loved on goes...

Azurikai said...

had to read this a second time and say exactly what i said because this article had a profound effect on me.

and i quote:
"yeah thats a really sad thought, i mean who will ever know what happens to us until it actually comes to that."

SPojs said...

Don't know what you got till it's gone

tak47 said...

death is very emotional, but just keep remembering that life has a limit, and that everyone will die one day

Au said...

I think it's important to stay positive about death. If we dwell too much on the negative aspects of mortality's end then we'll waste our lives worrying about something that we have no power over... and before we know it, life is over. Stay happy people :)

consuela bananahammoc said...

Very nice post. Really sad.
I'm following you now. :) x

Glovey said...

Excellent post man! Was a really interesting read! thanks for sharing!

Tweeks Coffee said...

great post. looking forward to reading your next one

Glovey said...

Another interesting read! Great blogger!